The Ugly Duckling
In most of my life I had this constant idea about me being ugly. This feeling started in my childhood, comparing myself to my other sisters, my friends and every time I look at my baby pictures. My insecurities trapped my mirror of me in a chest. I lived my life waiting for something BIG to happen, for a dream which was not clear to me...
When I was 5 years old, I was an unusual child, curious, talkative, naughty, funny…yearns for attention and sad! I felt there's something missing in me, Barbie doll was not my favorite playmate, and it reminds me always with what I was missing. Stuffed teddy bears were my friends. . I realized, at the time I learned reading, I learned that the real beauty comes from the inside, no matter what the external shape looks like.
At the age of 7, I saw The Ugly Duckling for the 1st time in a TV program. I start to fall in love with that little duckling who was not fit into his own world. I felt the same... As I was growing older and my unrest grow with me this name was attached to my behavior, and I started to love being called with it. In my early teen years, I found myself get stuck in troubles very often. I refer that to my sense of offering help! Although my intentions were good and sincere, still it was difficult for those who don't know me to understand the way I act. Until now! And like that little duckling, I was not fit into my own surrounding; I was waiting for something great to happen in my life. I always believed that, not because of my dad's words: "you will grow up one day to be someone great", not because of my best friend words" I predict you will be someone special in the future". It was a hope I found my self living with it day by day, holding on to it every night before I go to sleep, and every time I feel blue.
In my high school days, I felt it coming, that feeling of anticipation, for something was not known to me... Something good was about to happen. In less than 1 year, I had the privilege to study abroad, to achieve higher education. I spent 5 beautiful years of my life outside my homeland. I learned a lot through these years. I tumbled more, but I managed to stand and pull myself together again. Because there was always that strong feeling of something good that will come along the way, wherever I go, whenever I fall. I had my share in falling in love with all its different types & names, or that's what I thought! Coz even during that beautiful time, I knew this was not what I was waiting for. This was not my dream. Although being loved in return was a wonderful feeling no one can ask for more, but something was missing. I was happy, but I didn't reach my absolute happiness! I was hurt, but not perfectly!
Until...
On June 14th 2003, I felt it's coming to me. A very beautiful thing was a bout to change my life, forever!
To be continued…
the ugly duckling herself @ age of 5!
When I was 5 years old, I was an unusual child, curious, talkative, naughty, funny…yearns for attention and sad! I felt there's something missing in me, Barbie doll was not my favorite playmate, and it reminds me always with what I was missing. Stuffed teddy bears were my friends. . I realized, at the time I learned reading, I learned that the real beauty comes from the inside, no matter what the external shape looks like.
At the age of 7, I saw The Ugly Duckling for the 1st time in a TV program. I start to fall in love with that little duckling who was not fit into his own world. I felt the same... As I was growing older and my unrest grow with me this name was attached to my behavior, and I started to love being called with it. In my early teen years, I found myself get stuck in troubles very often. I refer that to my sense of offering help! Although my intentions were good and sincere, still it was difficult for those who don't know me to understand the way I act. Until now! And like that little duckling, I was not fit into my own surrounding; I was waiting for something great to happen in my life. I always believed that, not because of my dad's words: "you will grow up one day to be someone great", not because of my best friend words" I predict you will be someone special in the future". It was a hope I found my self living with it day by day, holding on to it every night before I go to sleep, and every time I feel blue.
In my high school days, I felt it coming, that feeling of anticipation, for something was not known to me... Something good was about to happen. In less than 1 year, I had the privilege to study abroad, to achieve higher education. I spent 5 beautiful years of my life outside my homeland. I learned a lot through these years. I tumbled more, but I managed to stand and pull myself together again. Because there was always that strong feeling of something good that will come along the way, wherever I go, whenever I fall. I had my share in falling in love with all its different types & names, or that's what I thought! Coz even during that beautiful time, I knew this was not what I was waiting for. This was not my dream. Although being loved in return was a wonderful feeling no one can ask for more, but something was missing. I was happy, but I didn't reach my absolute happiness! I was hurt, but not perfectly!
Until...
On June 14th 2003, I felt it's coming to me. A very beautiful thing was a bout to change my life, forever!
To be continued…
the ugly duckling herself @ age of 5!
" Your Eyes are an Ocean in which my Dreams are Reflected.. "
bubwit!
at 5:53 PM
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